The thoughts and experiences of SultryMissEm

beautiful caucasian woman long curly red hair red lips glasses

I'm a paragraph. Click once to begin entering your own content. You can change my font, size, line height, colour and more by highlighting part of me and selecting the options from the toolbar.

I am a professional Dominatrix. This means I am paid to interact with clients, mostly men, in a way that allows them to explore their sexuality in a safe place without judgement. This can mean helping them explore pain, pleasure, life goals, how to make the most of what they are doing. I do video sessions, chat sessions, I create videos etc. Everything I do is legal. I pay taxes, and am similar to anyone else who runs a small business-except I am every department-admin, content, marketing, creative, HR, PR, accounting etc. 

Coming out the parents Full Post

I dream often of a world where we can do our jobs and get paid without problems. Where we can be seen for the amazing healing work we provide. Understood that we meet needs that people are missing in their lives-human contact, touch, acceptance, sexual gratification etc.

Dream Job Full Post

SO, he went from having a safe space where he could be honest, feel no shame and explore his desires without any judgment, to a space that he cannot share because he feels shame and judgment. How is this better? Why is it ok that he pays the therapist, who he is limited in talking to, but it’s somehow dirty for him to pay the person who he has freedom with?

Safe Space with Sex Workers Full Post

Many of us in the kink community have spent time thinking back to our formative years and what we were exposed to that brought these parts of us to the surface. Was it an image? Album cover? Movie? Show? Song?

Bed of Roses full post

So while the world, our society, etc deem us to have a certain value at certain times in the line, how do you value or have valued yourself at different times in your life? This will significantly change between an eighteen year old and an eighty year old. The longer you have been around, the more “parts” of life there have been, the more you have to choose from, yet at the same time the more faded the memories of those times become. I'm a paragraph. Click once to begin entering your own content. You can change my font, size, line height, color and more by highlighting part of me and selecting the options from the toolbar.

What is time? How does it affect us? Full Post

It’s an example of just how much the civilian world doesn’t understand sex work. How it doesn’t understand the connection you make with clients, the amount you give of yourself in ways that just cannot compare with many regular jobs no matter how much you enjoy your work. Imagine the incredible healing work you do with your regular clients, the fantasies and experiences you weave into people’s lives in ways that no one else possibly can, being written off as yeah work sucks, yeah the world sucks.

Can Civvie friends ever really get it?

Full Post

One of my favourite types of play on cam or in chat sessions is roleplay. I love getting lost in a character and bringing someones fantasies to life. Knowing they have this idea, scenario, characters, etc in their head and I get to make it real for them is a wonderful sensation.

Roleplays Full Post

I have never been someone who considered themselves a perfectionist. More of a that’s good enough, that will do, not so bad type of completion person. I get the job done, it meets the needs, but it has flaws like me. Also like me, I strive to get better each time I do something.

Perfect? Perfection? Perfectionist?

Full post

It got me thinking about how I use my fatness in my sex work and my sex work identity. To understand how I use my fatness in sex work, I have to look at how I use my fatness in life...

Fatness in Sex Work

Full Post

While watching the recent YNOTcamawards, I learned about the lovely @AerieSaunders and her new project

Adult Mutual Aid

Full Post

After 7 plus years of working on cam you can start to categorize just about every guy who comes into your space. Every model will have their own categories and understanding of the relationships they have with their clients. These are the ones that have become common in my work...

Types of Cam Clients

Full Post

A fave meme comes to mind as I sit to write this.

Simple, beautiful line drawings. One body says “does the full moon influence you?” The other is a woman who has long hair and a dress on, both have long tendrils going from her to trees, birds the moon, etc. Her response is “a little”...

Grounding Techniques

Full Post

I got this question on cam from a guy who was confused and intrigued by me. First he came in and was full of compliments about my beauty. The intensity of my eyes, the mischievousness of my smile, the confidence I exuded. I prompted him to read my profile and tell me what kind of fun he was looking for as I do with all people who come into my work space. He was upset to realize I am a Domme as he felt we would clash heads in a bad way. I let him know he had 2 options: 1) I do offer vanilla/non power exchange play or 2) he could wish me a lovely day and move on to another model that might meet his needs. He was stuck on the fact that I am a Domme so I wished him a good day and he left...

"Why so business mannered in a hospitality field of work?"
Full Post

Variety of ways to connect a Domme and sub in person and from long distance/online...

Ideas to explore between Domme and sub

Full Post

There are so many levels to cuckholding.

During a cam session I usually list these levels to gauge two main aspects. One is how involved a guy wants to be in the whole scene, as well as his true desire and intention behind wanting to explore cuckholding...


Full Post

I have done years of fetish play, I have played with many “common” and many “unique” fetishes. One of my absolute favourite sessions ever, was fairly early on in my cam days I had a guy request that I wear a cardigan style sweater while blowing my nose. He requested the louder the better!!

Fun Fetish-Sneeze Sweater

Full Post

The number of men who desire sexual experiences with other men is much higher than you could possibly imagine. I get so many guys who come to me as a safe place to explore their curiosities and desires that aren’t as accepted in our/their societies. They understand on some level that sexuality is fluid, that a sexual experience doesn’t define someone’s sexuality, even if they cannot put words to it. There is such an incredibly high level of stigma against the idea of men being gay as the worst possible thing they could imagine. Curiosity is natural in humans, especially when it comes to sexuality...

Exploring your bi curiosities

Full Post

This seems like something that should be damn clear and easy enough to understand. However if you ask anyone in the sex work industry they will ALL have stories about how everyone from family/friends/partners to the media to clients have treated them as less than. Told they are not the priority, their pleasure is irrelevant, their need to feel safe is a joke, they are disposable. This comes in the form of dead hooker jokes, guys refusing to provide screening information-claiming their need for privacy trumps a providers need for safety, media showing sex workers as all being broken shells of humans who have no other choices while being riddled with drug problems...

Hookers are people too!

Full Post

Sex work is this interesting crossroads of so many parts of life. We are professionals, we supply a service, a service most people have access to/desire for in their day to day life outside of professional hirings. This “thing” that is totally acceptable to exchange between people with no money involved, suddenly becomes strange and less acceptable when money is added. With significantly different laws surrounding the exchange between sex worker and the client, it can make the transaction even more confusing with layers of concerns. The way we navigate these transactions can take time and learning, not to mention, every sex worker has different requirements when booking...

Things not to ask a sex worker

Full Post

A light introduction to some popular BDSM activities, deep dives into each of these will follow!

First things are understanding this could change your day to day relationship in addition to bedroom (or whatever room you play in) time. Being a Domme is not just ordering someone around and being a bitch, it is a serious responsibility that takes a lot of work to ensure needs are met and everyone is enjoying...

Intro to Domination

Full Post

I will be teaching a class on Monday July 29 6-9 pm

This one will be on doing webcam modelling. I have been a webcam model almost 5 years now, I have worked on a variety of sites...

Class about webcam modelling

Full Post

Spring brings so much joy and beauty. Time for new goals, growth and adventure! With this comes new options for fun with me. I am now offering companionship packages to enjoy my sensual beauty and pleasure. I have incredible, pin-up girl style curves that deserve to be touched, teased, and pleased. Have you fantasized about exploring full hips, natural body, curves all topped with a killer, seductive smile? Now is your chance...

Classes and Companionship

Full Post

I've been a Pro Domme off and on for almost 20 years. I have immense experience, and am incredibly safety minded.

I have spoken to some of you who are quite interested in learning and am looking forward to teaching the in depth skills that would be a great addition to your toolbox...

Classes to begin this month

Full Post

The more I begin to explore the world of FinDom the more I know it is truly for me. I am so different from the majority of the other Dommes who style more of a "Fuck you, Pay Me" approach. I am much more gentle, I set high expectations, strict consequences for failure to comply and before you know it you are doing whatever it takes to please me...


Full Post