Things not to ask a sex worker
Things not to ask a sex worker
How did you end up here
Are you single
Where do you live
Why do you do this work
Would you like me to marry you and take you away from this
What do you weigh
How old are you
How big is your x (bra size/ass/pubic hair/etc)
Do you have kids
What is your worst cam session
What is your worst sw experience
What do you like
What can you do for me
Sex work is this interesting crossroads of so many parts of life. We are professionals, we supply a service, a service most people have access to/desire for in their day to day life outside of professional hirings. This “thing” that is totally acceptable to exchange between people with no money involved, suddenly becomes strange and less acceptable when money is added. With significantly different laws surrounding the exchange between sex worker and the client, it can make the transaction even more confusing with layers of concerns. The way we navigate these transactions can take time and learning, not to mention, every sex worker has different requirements when booking.
With all these layers, confusions, and uncertainties through the legal, stigma and diversity of communication we see a lot of it in how people approach sex workers. Let’s talk about the inappropriate questions frequently received and why they should be avoided.
All sex workers
How did you end up here?
As fun as it is to explain it as being a bit of a joke with “well, I got up off my couch and walked down the hall to this room, turned on my computer…” We know you mean how did you “end up” as a sex worker. This is a really personal question that usually has many layers behind it. It is often fueled by the social idea that sex workers are doing this work as a last result, because they cannot do anything else, or are damaged in some way. This is a good time for you to look inward at your current biases and work on them instead of projecting them on the models.
Why are you a sex worker?
Why does anyone do the job they do? Probably to pay their bills and provide money to live their lives. To have fun in a field they are good at, to learn new skills, to have fun experiences. This is the same for sex workers as it is for everyone.
Would you like me to marry you and take you away from this?
No. Unless I tell you that I want to leave this work and get married, No.
What is your worst experience in sex work?
No, in no way is this ever going to get a good response from a sex worker. Would you ask your friend to relive a terrible situation in their life just to feed your curiosity? Would you ask the details of a mugging? Assault? Etc? If you answer yes to this then you need to change how you talk to your friends and stop asking them to relive terrible experiences for your entertainment.
How old are you? How much do you weigh?
These are generally not necessary answers outside of being fetishized. If a sex worker is doing fetish play that involves age or weight then great, outside of that these details don’t apply.
How big is your “x”? (Ass/tits/pussy hair/etc)
Breaking someone down into simply measurements and parts is quite fetishizing. You can enjoy a specific body part as a part of someone and their whole package. Sex workers are bombarded by compliments about specific body parts, they are appreciated but become a bit repetitive and don’t pay the bills. Compliments about who a person is-personality etc are much more powerful.
Online sex workers
Where do you live?
I am asked this questions multiple times per day, I understand it seems like a basic question, a bit of small talk and common in the rest of our world. However, it can be a dangerous question to a sex worker when we live in a world of worrying about clients falling in love with us, becoming stalkers, wanting to out/doxx us to our personal lives, or even physically harm us. For online workers, you don’t need anything further than a country, or a time zone to be able to ensure same time on line.
Are you single?
Again this seems like a simple basic question, but it really is irrelevant. We are working together to create this wonderful, fantasy experience that fulfills your needs in that moment. This is not dating, we are not getting to know each other, we are not moving forward from cam site to real life. This is the harsh reality a lot of guys don’t want to think about, it “kills” the fantasy for them. They want to hear you are always available and the possibility is always there. In reality, my personal relationships have absolutely nothing to do with our fantasy relationship. This goes both ways towards you fantasizing about me being single, or you fetishizing my relationships in a cuck, sub or curiousity way. Clients need to understand that you have access to us as our work selves (regardless of how close a models personal life is to their work life) in the way we choose to share and you don’t have access or need to have access to anything further than that.
Do you have kids?
This is always inappropriate, even if your fetish is stretchmarks, impregnation, lactation, cuckholding, etc. Same as above, this pries into the personal part of a models life that may or may not be presented to you. If a model chooses to share, or talk about her pregnancy or family that is up to them, but it’s not right to ask.
What is your worst experience on cam?
Ok, this one blows my mind. I understand you are fascinated by my job, the fun/crazy/unique requests that you could never imagine being arousing etc. HOWEVER!, in what world do you think I want to relive my worst experience with you, in a public space, where others can come in and out when they are searching for their fantasy. If it is my worst experience, that means it’s not a good thing, I want to leave it where it was. Ask about most unique, ask about funniest, ask about what one I enjoyed the most, etc. Then I can choose if it is appropriate to share or not.